上学了!

the thought of "开学的第一天" (the first day of school): boo )'=

but, 开学的第一天, surprisingly went well =)
i guessed this is due to the very main reason-- Morning Manna, Morning Revival.
i'm glad the situation made me HAVE to wake up as early as 630am to get ready and be out of my house by 745am and drive to canadian consulate at downtown los angeles.
dangs! there's terrible traffic already. hahars. but calling on Him never fails. O Lord Jesus!
My Dear Senor Jesus (=
He was so dear to me this morning, and throughout the whole day.
my consecration this quarter is to love him more than I never did before, gain him, enjoy him, eat more of him, grow in him, and be regulated in Him! anws.

so early morning i went to the canadian embassy.
#1 the security man was super friendly.
#2 another friendly man

beside me sat this persian man. he started asking me how many pictures we need for the visa application, and then he carried on the conversation asking me about my life: my major, my identity, etc. so *FFWD* i dnt know why. but this guy made my morning! hahars. just cos he was so friendly and all that. maybe cos downtown LA depresses me. seriously. it's like.. i feel so intimidated. so anyhows, he even asked me personal questions like "is the friend you're visiting a guy or a girl?"
me:"guy, haha."
"i'm going with my girl-frd btw"
him:"haha. don't fight with her over him eh.."
me:"haha."
him:"do you like him?"
me:" haha. he's my good friend. since 12.. so, i'm just visiting. yada yada yada."

(-.-) hahar! dnt you think?
so we talked alot while waiting for our numbers.
and basically he told me where to go in vancouver and left me his contacts and all that.
he was nice (=
dude. that's really random and all. i just think that, in life, you have to have connections.
hehe.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------blueberry--------------

this is the juice of the day eh? hahar. so here goes:

blueberry texted me last night, but because i was already asleep, i replied his msg in the morning sometime after i woke up =)
it was a foreign #, but somehow i sensed that it was him, maybe cuz no one else talks like he does. haha. "Eh, xxxxxxxx" hahar, basically asking me what time is my break today.

#1 this person must be a singaporean.
#2 this person must be one of my close friends.
#3 this person is probably UCLA too.
#4 must be yongjae..?

but my inner heart pinched itself a little; "dude. cindy. do-not-think-so-much."
so i let it go, and just replied "who is this?"
and so that was how it started.
and we texted quite a lot; to the point where he was entertaining my "okay, call you later" replies. i began to wonder..

(-.-) did he get a new texting plan or sth!?!?!*&%#!^%^#!$@$!*

haha!!
dang~! that's so far from.. yongjae. he would never do that. lols.
plus, he sounded so friendly.
what's up man! &*%!$@!!&^(!*

so we met for lunch. walked to westwood as always.
hahar. dude. it was, yarh, funny. ANWS,
the first thing he said was "i haven't seen you for so long"
and i was like "yarh man.. haha"

IN MY HEART, i was totally like "haha, DEAREST BLUEBERRY, you're so silly.. haha. unknowingly, i have been avoiding to see you. cuz, just.. cuz... i have to go through my share of operation to get that thorn out of my heart; i have to avoid you so i can forget you; so i can move on; and be normal you know. haha. but i'm really glad it's all good and we're still all cool and friends (: and you know, i've.. moved on. so fear not for anything. i'll be your friend. just your friend, whenever you need me."

and he asked me about my florida spring break trip. and i told him about alligators and stuffs.
you know, i realized why i liked him back then. he listens. he .. really listens (: haha. that was why my focus was moved from mango to blueberry. cos mango never bothered asking me how i was. mango never cared. but blueberry asked things like how i'm coping with houemates/roommates/new living, it's just,... really comforting to know that he cares.
so i told him about my trip. and you know,
how can you tell whether one is interested in what you're saying or not?
it is by his response.
you just know..
so you know, at least for today, i know (= haha. i know he listened.
cuz maybe he asked me more qns along those stories i told.
hee.
you're probably thinking that my 'like' for him rekindled, but oh wells.. (in the lord) i say, "keep my heart", i.. want to fall for someone whom the lord wants me to fall for. someone safe. someone who loves me genuinely, and most impt of all, someone who loves the lord, too. someone whose heart is also kept for the lord. and someone who is preserved, for me in the future. again, i am realy encouraged by the fact that.. the lord's heart towards us is ALWAYS good. always good.. (: i want the best, lord.
i'm not saying blueberry isn't good; i really liked him. and there were reasons why, i guess. hahar. he is special in his own way, but if he doesn't know Christ, i can't be with him, because we'll eventually just lead separate lives, and dude... that's nasty. hahar.

i-want-ONENESS! (:

anws. so back to blueberry. i don't know what about him that's different, but he has changed.
he has changed.
i would say (at least from what i see today) that he is more.. mellow? er. ha-ha.
i like it. it's like. he's.. more subdued? more.. matured? grown up>?! haha.
i like it i like it! haha.
i like the feeling that i'm with someone older. maybe cuz i miss my family too much!
i miss being with my MUM and dad, the older saints, ...
i like it when i'm with "older" people (:
i feel so 'protected', so young!
finally you know.. i can be the recessive one.
i asked "eh. so where should we eat?"
and he made the decision!

haha.
wow. i like it.
i just.. "thank you lord"

maybe, i'm just tired of making the decisions.
tired of being the dominant one.

hahar.
and so i like the new yongjae, whatever that happened to him, i do not know. haha, and i hope he stays that way, cos i would feel closer to home..

BTW. throughout the springbreaktrip i have been practicing my british accent with the sisters =P
and SO. i practised it today with blueberry. hahar.
dangs.

anws. seemed like the lord gave me back my 'isaac'. but whether it is from the lord, or from satan, i'm going to... keep my heart closed OF him. haha.

好啦好啦..

that's all for today folks!

much love*